I walked down the path that lay before me,
Knowing that there was no way else to go
I watched what was left of my fragile heart
Be broken and drained of hope.
I knew what I needed to do,
Stop crying and pick myself up
Because in the end no one cared
And my efforts just weren’t enough
So I bled myself dry of all hurt and anticipation,
Shakespeare had it right,
All heartache sprouts from expectation,
So what was the point of the strife?
If you shut yourself out from all emotion
You may come out unscathed,
But abstinence from human interaction
Is a life that was lived inane…
So one day, I picked up the broken pieces
And decided I would no longer feel this maimed,
As a person I might need social communication
But I wouldn’t let anyone see my pain.
Vulnerability is overrated,
I need to emotionally isolate,
Sure, I would talk to every living soul
And extroversion exaggerate.
I would spend every waking minute
Trying to be perfect in the spotlight,
I knew people would be waiting, watching keenly
For me to slip, and for them to spew their spite.
I wore my mask pretty well,
I must say in retrospect I’m impressed,
I didn’t give even the slightest hint
Of the agony I had repressed.
I would do what was required of me with a mercenary heart
Because all that I learned from selfless love
Was that I had no more capacity to be scarred.
Everything seemed to be going well enough,
As long as I followed script,
All the world’s a stage of course,
I found my part and was playing it.
When I took stock of how far I had come
And how scrupulous my defenses were
I found myself closed in by the highest walls
My armory in place to avert hurt.
Then one day I met someone,
I never expected to find,
I watched as the miracle unraveled,
I believe they call it Fate’s Design.
I didn’t see it coming,
If I had I’d have taken aim,
Shot him down before he gained access,
Or came anywhere near my towering gates.
I smirked at his naivety,
He seemed to be so in love with life,
He would soon be broken too,
It was all a matter of time.
I must admit I got curious
As to how he remained unfazed,
No one can claim a perfect past,
Yet his faith wouldn’t shake.
My curiosity got the better of me,
I hid behind my shielding gates
But I stole a look ever so gingerly,
At the world of wonder from which he came.
He caught me in my trespassing act,
I quickly sought to hide again,
But when I looked back to see if he left,
He was holding out his hand.
I dared for the first time in forever,
To take a step outside my protective grounds,
He pulled me out and I watched in awe
As my walls came tumbling down.
He showed me what living really meant,
Asked me to trust and love again,
He said he would hold my hand if I fell
And that I could always count on him.
Slowly, insecurity melted
Like morning dewdrops on a rose,
And I dared to dream and feel the things,
I had interred very long ago.
I no longer had an arsenal,
I trusted him so very much,
I depended on the solace he gave
And the bounty of unconditional love.
So this is another once upon a time,
Of a girl who was afraid,
To come out of hiding from inside her shell,
A little apprehensive to watch her heart break.
God sent her broken spirit a miracle,
To magically restore her hope
Joshua, was the one He chose,
To bring down the walls of Jericho.